Everything starts with small steps. Everything is taught. Everything.
A few months ago, it occurred to me that I wanted William to learn how to slow dance. I’m not sure why I desired this to be.
Maybe because I thought he would like it. He didn’t…. not at first.
Maybe because I liked the idea of him being close. I did…. always and forever.
Who am I kidding, he is a scrumdiddlyumptious bar and any way I can be close to him, I’ll take it!
Maybe because most 8 year olds don’t slow dance with their mommies and I wanted us to accomplish something out of the norm. Something to call our own.
No time frames, no comparisons, no charts, no age-based norms to look to. Just us.
But, like most tasks, it took a lot of work. I began to see the small steps seep through just as they always do. It is always work… for him, for me.
We started with the simple task of holding one hand and I had his other hand around my waist. This took about a week. He would flop on the floor like a fish when I would even utter the word “dance.” “No no no!” he would say. “No dance!”
It was new… William doesn’t like new. I kept going…. as his resistance towards the new doesn’t stop me nor does it control my emotions, at least not the way it used to.
Two weeks went by and the “fish flopping” decreased. He began holding my hand and the arm around the waist was quite loose but it was a start.
Next came the swaying…many times we fell over. Did I mention he is almost 4 and a half feet tall? He’s very strong too (thanks to the monkey bars) so if he falls, I fall.
After the third week, the swaying softened up a bit. A few moments turned into a few longer moments.
A few times the mirror caught my eye and I could see us both standing there.
Quiet, perfectly engaged, and in the moment.
Maybe one day he will want to dance with a young lady.
Until then, I will be standing there ready to be swayed.
Nothing can take that away… not even autism.
To read more blogs from Melanie, Seth and TheFowler4Group, check out their Website (www.lookatmyeyes.com) and while you’re there, buy a copy of their book, “Look At My Eyes”. Or find them on YouTube. To contact TheFowler4 Group email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Special Thanks to Jewett Photography