Tag Archives: autism and patience

believe

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The first race he wanted to be with the parked cars in the parking lot.
We had a big team.
Fussing and fighting, I showed him our team…his team.
He stayed in the parking lot.
His team ran well and hard without him but for him.

The second race, I managed to get him out of the parking lot.
He wanted solitude and ate way too many chicken biscuits.
His team ran well and hard without him but for him.

The third race was cccccccold. He said, “I go home” and never stopped. Not even during the consumption of his chicken biscuit, which he squeezed through his fingers and threw on the grass.
He wanted to go home <smile>
His team ran well and hard without him but for him.

The fourth race was a blurr but he watched the race from afar.
His team ran well and hard without him but for him.

The fifth race he laughed a little and hugged the chick-fil-a cow a little too tight.
He ran a little, walked a little, and then I carried him… a little.

This year, his team ran well and hard with him and for him.
His biggest fan ran by his side <smile>

To read more blogs from Melanie, Seth and TheFowler4Group, check out their Website (www.lookatmyeyes.com) and while you’re there, buy a copy of their book, “Look At My Eyes”.  Or find them on YouTube.  To contact TheFowler4 Group email: info@thefowler4group.com
   

fighting for Gray

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Color coded tabs, labels of any kind, a well stocked and organized pantry… these all put me in a state of sheer bliss.  Put me in an office supply store and I could meander for hours with a crazy smile on my face. Seriously.

Organization and structure are key ingredients for autism.  All children need structure BUT for children with autism, it is absolutely necessary.

Man oh man, I had this down.  Timely activities? Check!  Well organized routines? Check!  William thinks in black and white.  It is an organized way of thinking… it goes way farther than my colored tabs and labels.  Yes, it’s black and white… it’s always the same.

BUT.  Where is the Gray?

Where is the line of flexibility?  Over the years, I have come to love and nurture the Gray.  It’s the Gray that makes the big splash.  He thrives on Gray… that hard place he never wants to go to.  The place where his structure is questioned and put up on a shelf.

Thank you shelf.

I realized we needed more Gray years ago… The setup:  I pick William up from school.  We drive our route home.  I remember, “Oh, we need groceries.” I turn right instead of left to stop by store.

Fits of rage fill the car like a huge fog… crying and self infliction follow shortly after.

What just happened???  Gray entered the picture.  We began doing this more.  A missed turn here, a stop there… completely out of routine.  Over time, it got easier.  He became, well… pliable. FLEXIBLE.  That’s what you want people… I promise.  Routine is great, but you must, absolutely must, give room for a little Gray.

Gray is where you will see the most progress. It is where the the most strides in accomplishing goals are most visible.  We can now eat at different restaurants, do unexpected errands, change our minds and go a “different” route…. uh, we can be “normal” in a lot of ways thanks to Gray.

Keep fighting for the Gray while keeping your black and white close by.  Everyone needs a little Gray.  I am beginning to really like this color…it’s done wonders for William.

I need it too… <smile>

To read more blogs from Melanie, Seth and TheFowler4Group, check out their Website (www.lookatmyeyes.com) and while you’re there, buy a copy of their book, “Look At My Eyes”.  Or find them on YouTube.  To contact TheFowler4 Group email: info@thefowler4group.com

Celebrating Autism: Waiting in Line

Happy New Year everyone…let’s get to work

I’m sitting here watching some NCAA football, the fire is on, the dog is asleep at my feet, nice glass of vino within arms distance…perfect scenario to blog!

I was going through the family computer and cleaning out files and documents that we don’t need.  My wife has a “William” folder with all sorts of documentation and notes and all that fun stuff.

In the file are notes from our 18-month legal battle with our insurance company, notes about what William was doing at certain ages, much of the stuff she used to write our book “Look At My Eyes”

I opened one document that described William at 2 years and 7 months of age–just before he was officially diagnosed with autism and our lives continued to change.

One entry said “has serious issues with patience.  Won’t stand in line, refuses to wait–flips out if he can’t have it now!”

So today as my wife was sick in bed with flu-like symptoms and the kids were getting cabin fever, I took them to the Children’s Museum (a HUGE staple in our weekend routine all year ’round)

They have amazing exhibits and the kids love to go there.  As with many families on the spectrum, we have our routine.  We get our tickets, we go to the gift shop, we say “hello” to Ms. Lisa, we take off our shoes and go down the Dyno-slide, then we go and do other things…but it always happens like that.

As William and his sister were going up-and-down on the slide I realized that William was very patiently waiting in line for his turn.

Kinda made me chuckle.

Another exhibit they love is some spinning mechanism–I don’t know what it is, you step on it, hold on and it spins you and you get all dizzy–kids love that stuff you know.

As usual, there was a line.  Immediately William said (in his broken-but getting better-communication skills)…”not your turn, wait in line…not your turn, wait in line…not your turn, wait in line”

And that’s what he did.  Over and over and over, he waited in line, was patient and  calm, took his turn, flapped a bit, got back in line

“Wait in line…it’s not your turn.”

So ironic that I found the report of almost 4+ years ago where my son was not willing or able to stand in line, be patient, wait for it…and here we are…not saying he’s destined for greatness–but HAVE HOPE PEOPLE…every year that passes we notice successes (sometimes big, sometimes small) and hurdles that he clears.

Way to go my son!  I am proud of you for learning to stand in line, wait your turn, be patient…

now you just need to teach your old man that patience thing…Happy New Years

To read more blogs from Seth and TheFowler4Group, check out their Website (www.lookatmyeyes.com) and while you’re there, buy a copy of their book, “Look At My Eyes”.  Or find them on YouTube.  To contact TheFowler4 Group email: info@thefowler4group.com