Tag Archives: fowler4group

Adolescence or Autism?

 

Seth Says…

Wow has the time flown!  William is now 12-years-old (he’ll be A TEENAGER in two months) and you know what that means…

ADOLESCENCE!!!

Ready or not, here we go!

It’s not just puberty.  He’s been going through that for about a year or so now and WOW can he stink!  When did boys (and girls) get so stinky?

Fortunately he seems to have Melanie’s beautiful skin so very little acne might be in store for him…whew…don’t know if I’d want to subject anyone to the issues that I had (but yet still turned out pretty good).

We are dealing with a new stage where we are wondering if his behavior and actions are caused by the fact that he’s 5’2″ and 105 lbs or because he’s on the autism spectrum.

If you have any advice…feel free to share

Sometimes it’s Okay to Bop Your Sister?

Let me be clear – I’m not condoning bullying or violence between siblings.  I still have scars from where my big sis clawed me.  BUT – every once in a while a younger sibling might become a little annoying and “deserve” a little shove on the trampoline or bop on the head.

We’ve gone through some scary incidents of aggression – and that is a totally different thing – but yeah, Margaret (10) can be a little pest and “big brother” needs to put her in her place from time-to-time….and for that I say “okay!”

Where Did These Opinions Come From

I’ve always prided myself on my amazing dancing and singing abilities.  No one can come even close to my Sweet Caroline, by the legendary Neil Diamond, rendition and if Michael Jackson were around – he’d admit that he stole moves from Yours Truly!  Trust me 🙂

“Daddy no singing!”  No more singing!”  “Move please…move please”

HUH?  When did William develop such a distaste for quality entertainment?  How dare he?!  But I get it.  I actually like it.  William will tell me when he wants me to stop or move or leave the room.

Some might find it rude and annoying (and I do at times) but it’s also what a typical teenager would do…and that’s fine with me.

Living in Two Worlds Must Be Exhausting

In the end – the answer is probably both.  His behavior is influenced by his stage of life as well as his condition.  He’s still a sweet boy (most of the time) and I’m almost glad that we aren’t dealing with the drama and heart break that comes with being a teen.

The great thing is that regardless of the cause…we know that deep down he still loves his mommy and daddy – and that’s all we could ask for!

To read more blogs from Melanie, Seth and TheFowler4Group, check out their Website (www.lookatmyeyes.com) and while you’re there, buy a copy of their book, “Look At My Eyes”.  Or find them on YouTube.  To contact TheFowler4 Group email: info@thefowler4group.com

fighting for Gray

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Color coded tabs, labels of any kind, a well stocked and organized pantry… these all put me in a state of sheer bliss.  Put me in an office supply store and I could meander for hours with a crazy smile on my face. Seriously.

Organization and structure are key ingredients for autism.  All children need structure BUT for children with autism, it is absolutely necessary.

Man oh man, I had this down.  Timely activities? Check!  Well organized routines? Check!  William thinks in black and white.  It is an organized way of thinking… it goes way farther than my colored tabs and labels.  Yes, it’s black and white… it’s always the same.

BUT.  Where is the Gray?

Where is the line of flexibility?  Over the years, I have come to love and nurture the Gray.  It’s the Gray that makes the big splash.  He thrives on Gray… that hard place he never wants to go to.  The place where his structure is questioned and put up on a shelf.

Thank you shelf.

I realized we needed more Gray years ago… The setup:  I pick William up from school.  We drive our route home.  I remember, “Oh, we need groceries.” I turn right instead of left to stop by store.

Fits of rage fill the car like a huge fog… crying and self infliction follow shortly after.

What just happened???  Gray entered the picture.  We began doing this more.  A missed turn here, a stop there… completely out of routine.  Over time, it got easier.  He became, well… pliable. FLEXIBLE.  That’s what you want people… I promise.  Routine is great, but you must, absolutely must, give room for a little Gray.

Gray is where you will see the most progress. It is where the the most strides in accomplishing goals are most visible.  We can now eat at different restaurants, do unexpected errands, change our minds and go a “different” route…. uh, we can be “normal” in a lot of ways thanks to Gray.

Keep fighting for the Gray while keeping your black and white close by.  Everyone needs a little Gray.  I am beginning to really like this color…it’s done wonders for William.

I need it too… <smile>

To read more blogs from Melanie, Seth and TheFowler4Group, check out their Website (www.lookatmyeyes.com) and while you’re there, buy a copy of their book, “Look At My Eyes”.  Or find them on YouTube.  To contact TheFowler4 Group email: info@thefowler4group.com